Stress and Anxiety: The power of the Mind & Body Connection
May, 2021.
Have you ever experienced:
a heart racing or pounding uncomfortably fast?
a neck is so stiff you can barely turn it to the side?
an eye that starts twitching and won’t seem to stop?
a stomach nauseous, acidic or on the flip side, ravenous and hungry all the time?
blood pressure that skyrockets at times?
a ringing in your ears?
Me too.
Up until a few years ago, when things like the above occurred I’d say to myself, “What is going on? I don’t understand why this is happening.” etc. And my self-inquiry questions carried a strong dose of inner-critic with an undercurrent of “Get it together, Molly.” Yeesh.
But then something switched in me, big time. My body had sent signals (see the above list) along the way. And then…the big one. All of my hair fell out in the period of three weeks! And I could no longer ignore what was going on in me.
It turns out the body does in fact keep the score. The experiences we have in life, the stress we carry, the anxiety we feel, all of this gets held in our body somewhere. Where exactly, is unique for each person, but it’s there in us.
Our bodies have so much they are trying to tell us! And my body via my hair (or rather…hair release) needed to get my attention. And that, she did.
Tuning in and listening to our body’s messages gives such good information to our brain, and can impact our overall sense of wellbeing.
Now, my go-to self-inquiry is more often to get curious with compassion. (Not to be confused with curious with inner-critic).
Practicing a mind & body connection, feeling emotions rather than denying or repressing them, noticing the sensations in our body, all of this allows stress, fear and anxiety to get processed through us rather than held on to.
For years I did not do this. My brain worked on overtime, my emotions were diligent workers too. But my body? I was not tapped into what she was trying to tell me in, so many different ways! (once again, see the above list)
And then in the spring of 2021 my body gave me a giant wake up call with this RAPID hair loss. What in the world was happening? Was I sick, was this serious?
I was scared. It was time to go to the doctor.
After what seemed like a very long wait, when the day of my appointment finally arrived, the dermatologist came into the room and I told her my story. Surprised at the extreme speed and amount, she went to get her colleague to consult and look at my head.
Wow, were they moving fast, I mean literally. Grabbing my head with a 360 degree look. Biopsies and bloodwork happened on the spot. My doctor assured me she was on it! She loved a good mystery, she said, and was going to solve my case. Overwhelmed, with tears in my eyes…I believed her.
The results came back. I was not deathly ill, or even very sick. I had very low iron. And stress.
Low iron and stress? Really. Could simply that do this?
One April 2021 day, post-shower.
Now…I want to clarify something here. In no way am I meaning to imply that people bring on their own illnesses. I want to acknowledge and be very sensitive to the reality that as humans, we get sick and have diseases and serious illnesses that are in no way in our control. If you or a loved one are going through an illness or health concern, please know I am not blaming or shaming here. What I am talking about is something different than that.
My story…what was happening for me, was stress and low iron, and a self (mind) who ignored the signs my body was sharing with me of how impacted I was by the situation around me.
Back to the story. Catching the contagious optimism of my doctor, I was relieved and felt a glimmer of hope.
I definitely had many of the normal, big feelings about my hair loss. But with what seemed like bigger fish to fry, I also decided to look at this as a grand science experiment on myself. I got curious. About me. Curiosity with compassion.
When I reflect on all that was happening, it was a lot:
I had changed my 25 year career to start a new dream and new business.
My dad became extremely affected with dementia, and was living with us at the time.
My last week of work included the unexpected death of a very good friend on Wednesday, moving my dad to assisted living on Friday, and packing up my office and turning in the key on Sunday.
Oh yeah, and it was during Covid.
My mind said I was fine. Keep going. My body said it was too much. And it shook me awake. The shock of losing my hair so quickly forced a switch.
There were other signs, too. Smaller, less dramatic, but still so informative. Our body is such a resource for us! Rapid heart beat, shallow breathing, constricted throat. Important clues from my body.
Full disclosure, I feel a little vulnerable sharing my story. And yet, I believe many of you have your own stories as well. My hope is to generate hope, healing, camaraderie and joy. After all, we’re in this together!
And it wasn’t all bad. There were some gifts. I learned so much including:
1. Mind & body connection is real. The healing and wellbeing gained as we connect our mind and body is huge. As we become conscious of and explore of our own internal experience there is so much we learn! Vital information. I am all-in and committed to my own practice of self-discovery and awareness.
2. A softened inner-critic voice. It’s like everything was stripped away. No hiding. Naked, I had to look at myself. Those harsh thought refrains I had, like “I have a double chin” or “wrinkles”…They weren’t true. I didn’t/don’t need to stick with those thoughts. Zooming the microscope out, with a new perspective I saw a bald (liberated), resilient and beautiful reflection. In a surprising and strange way, it was freeing.
3. Self-awareness and self-exploration is far from selfish. It is HEALTHY. Adds to longevity, happiness, stronger relationships, and better overall health and wellbeing.
4. I need to/get to keep practicing every day. Practicing curiosity with compassion, listening and learning what the whole of me is saying is a forever process. There is no where to “arrive”. I take time for me now, and I even crave it. Self check-in moments throughout the day keep me fueled.
5. It’s important to have support! Life is not a solo gig. Gathering, asking for, accepting help is a good thing. We need each other. Doug, our kids, friends and family were so supportive. My life coach and therapist continue to guide me in the healing process.
Doug wanted his head shaved in solidarity. :)
Twins.
That’s why I call myself a practicing practitioner. (Is this redundant? :) Truly, the deeper I go in my own self-discovery, the deeper I am able to accompany and be present with and for my clients. I am committed to my own health and wellbeing, and the process of that.
And it’s working. I feel less constricted. My hair has grown back. Of course stress still shows up, and my anxiety still talks to me. But instead of pushing it away, I see it as a resource. What is my body telling me? And I use practical tools like breathing and meditating. The intentional practice of the mind and body connection brings such a sense of freedom and control. Our bodies are such an important resource for us. It’s a whole new world.
This work of self-discovery is so important to me on a professional level, and also personally. So, thank you for letting me share my story. And I’d love to know yours. As you move about your day, I invite you to get “curious with compassion” and play around with noticing what your body is telling you.
And if you want to explore the whole of YOU more deeply, join me for our Whole Being WellBeing: Connecting Mind & Body Zoom workshop that happening September 30 & October 14. For more information and to register click here.
Until our paths cross…thank you. And I am sending you all sorts of light, peace and love.
Molly
